ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
First and foremost, I would like to thank You, my Heavenly Father, for bringing this dream of mine to pass, for guiding me throughout the entire process of completing this work, for strengthening me in all Godliness throughout my walk with You, and for keeping me close to You. I'd also like to thank You for my wonderful husband and for the huge amount of support he has given me throughout the years. I’d also like to thank for my other five sons, from my previous marriage, for believing in me and for supporting my dream, in every way, for all these years. Lastly, I'd also like to thank You for my dedicated editors Becky Summers, Donna Blazik, Gerry Jones, and Isaiah Fransua.
Lord, today is a very special day because I have been finishing up the book. I believe You are helping me to write and I'm pretty excited to realize that You have been with me the whole time while writing this book. I started nearly 40 years ago. As You know, the first part of my book is when I first met You and asked You into my heart. I have never regretted it! I knew that I needed to change. There were a lot of things in my life that weren't right. I spent many years in shame as a slave to sin before I became a Christian and I know that I had some seriously stinkin' thinkin'. I only agreed with and believed in what my past had taught me because of the abuse I endured from several step-fathers. As a child, I felt I was no good. So many of my thoughts were negative and very destructive toward myself and others. I believe that there may have been times in my life when I may have even been possessed due to alcohol. I lived a negative, destructive, and miserable life and I know that there are many people still in this place today. Please empower them just as You have empowered me.
It was You God, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who changed me and my thinking. As I renewed my mind in You, and in Your powerful and living Word of truth, my thoughts started connecting to You and our thoughts became one. You empowered me in all my struggles; low self-esteem, fear, guilt, voices of condemnation, self-pity, craziness, a lack of confidence, and the list goes on. Surely, the enemy was on the throne of my heart even though part of me acted sane. Even my hidden secrets...You knew em' all along. I found out that I couldn't hide anything from You. The enemy would tell me, “Let's go sin in secret. Just you and I know.” Lord, that was just a lie from the enemy! You know everything about me, even the very hairs on my head.
I started seeing the roots of all my struggles. Most often, it was the pain that I was suppressing from my past. This pain was real, but not of You. It came from the sin of the world and my troubled past. You taught me that I needed to bring all this pain to You because it usually involved myself and other people. You clearly let me know that You forgave me of all my wrong doing and past sin. You have thrown my sins as far as the east is from west and You have forgotten them. The only thing was that I didn't believe that I was truly forgiven because this pain from my past kept coming back up. I couldn't understand why, if I was forgiven, I kept thinking about this pain. You started teaching me about the other people that had hurt me. You showed me how I was blaming myself for what they had done. My past, with the enemy, had created spiritual, emotional, and physical connections in me, through all that had happened to me. Now I know that I am not alone in these things; they have happened to others as well. These thoughts from my past kept connecting with my present thoughts and kept me in misery.
In Colossians 3:2 You say, “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” [KJV] This means thinking correctly. Yet, my mind kept wandering to the past and its pain. Something would happen to me and I would go back to the past and everything would seem just the same. I'd say, “Lord, what's going on here?” You'd say, “You have not forgiven that person or yourself.” I kept trying to think about You and the higher things, not the things of the world. The past kept creeping up and I had no idea what to do. You started teaching me about forgiveness concerning unbelievers. You said, “They didn't know what they were doing to Me just like they didn't know what they were doing to you. The enemy and sin blinded their minds and hearts. Some sins were put upon you and others you engaged in. Shame comes from thinking you are wrong and from thinking you should not have allowed something to happen. I have forgiven you but to be free you must forgive yourself and others. All sins are the same because they all make you imperfect, no matter how big or small the sin is. Before you became a born-again Christian, you walked with the enemy because he is the god of this world. Even though some people think they're all good, the enemy has his hand in their life somewhere. I have spoken through My Son, ‘He that is not with Me is against Me; and he that gathereth not with Me scattereth abroad.’ (Matthew 12:30) [KJV] So people are either serving Me or the enemy, whether they accept it or not.”
You kept reminding me that You would empower me through and heal my pain and You continued encouraging me. You taught me that, on this journey, the real key to overcoming my past is to forgive myself and others continuously. Even a person has passed away, what they've done to me can still haunt me. You urged me to bring every person and circumstance to You. Most of the time, I felt small and that I had no control. You empowered me to stop blaming myself and to forgive myself. This was such a huge breakthrough Lord. I couldn't change but You empowered me to understand that holding bitterness against another person is due to unforgiveness toward them and possibly even shame and unforgiveness toward myself. I prayed to You to make changes in me and I realized that I couldn't change others. Many times I feared the worst, that You were not with me but You would whisper to me, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) [KJV]
I'm crying now just remembering all the times, small and big, that You have been there for me and not against me. My precious Lord Jesus Christ, the purpose of my life is to serve You and to give my testimony of You to others. You saved my soul and spirit, and I pray that many would come to salvation in You as well. You have allowed me to write this book and I know that it truly is of You. I am now 75 years old, with nine Christian children and 12 Christian grandchildren, and You, Jesus, have gotten me through so much. You have impacted my life with Your eternal love and concern for my well-being over and over again. Through these prayers You have changed me and I am thankful for Your forgiveness and for teaching me to forgive others and myself. All I want is all of You in my life. You are the greatest gift You have given me. Now that this book is finished, I can share true testimonies of how You have changed my life and how I received the greatest love of all. Each day, You hold me up with Your hands of hope and, as I forgive others and myself, I put the old behind me and remember to let go of the past. In You, I choose and it is my will to only remember and bring up the things that glorify You. Your forgiveness and Your power to cause me to forgive, allows me to receive what I need and my thankfulness and appreciation empowers me to hold onto what I've received.
I'm so excited about all that You're going to do with this book and I truly thank You for this journey. Lord, not my will but Yours. Go before me and cause this book to do everything You want it to do for Your honor and glory. I pray that You would deliver this book into every hand You desire it to be in and I thank You, my Lord Jesus Christ, for Your faithfulness and for the opportunity to write this book for You.
First and foremost, I would like to thank You, my Heavenly Father, for bringing this dream of mine to pass, for guiding me throughout the entire process of completing this work, for strengthening me in all Godliness throughout my walk with You, and for keeping me close to You. I'd also like to thank You for my wonderful husband and for the huge amount of support he has given me throughout the years. I’d also like to thank for my other five sons, from my previous marriage, for believing in me and for supporting my dream, in every way, for all these years. Lastly, I'd also like to thank You for my dedicated editors Becky Summers, Donna Blazik, Gerry Jones, and Isaiah Fransua.
Lord, today is a very special day because I have been finishing up the book. I believe You are helping me to write and I'm pretty excited to realize that You have been with me the whole time while writing this book. I started nearly 40 years ago. As You know, the first part of my book is when I first met You and asked You into my heart. I have never regretted it! I knew that I needed to change. There were a lot of things in my life that weren't right. I spent many years in shame as a slave to sin before I became a Christian and I know that I had some seriously stinkin' thinkin'. I only agreed with and believed in what my past had taught me because of the abuse I endured from several step-fathers. As a child, I felt I was no good. So many of my thoughts were negative and very destructive toward myself and others. I believe that there may have been times in my life when I may have even been possessed due to alcohol. I lived a negative, destructive, and miserable life and I know that there are many people still in this place today. Please empower them just as You have empowered me.
It was You God, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who changed me and my thinking. As I renewed my mind in You, and in Your powerful and living Word of truth, my thoughts started connecting to You and our thoughts became one. You empowered me in all my struggles; low self-esteem, fear, guilt, voices of condemnation, self-pity, craziness, a lack of confidence, and the list goes on. Surely, the enemy was on the throne of my heart even though part of me acted sane. Even my hidden secrets...You knew em' all along. I found out that I couldn't hide anything from You. The enemy would tell me, “Let's go sin in secret. Just you and I know.” Lord, that was just a lie from the enemy! You know everything about me, even the very hairs on my head.
I started seeing the roots of all my struggles. Most often, it was the pain that I was suppressing from my past. This pain was real, but not of You. It came from the sin of the world and my troubled past. You taught me that I needed to bring all this pain to You because it usually involved myself and other people. You clearly let me know that You forgave me of all my wrong doing and past sin. You have thrown my sins as far as the east is from west and You have forgotten them. The only thing was that I didn't believe that I was truly forgiven because this pain from my past kept coming back up. I couldn't understand why, if I was forgiven, I kept thinking about this pain. You started teaching me about the other people that had hurt me. You showed me how I was blaming myself for what they had done. My past, with the enemy, had created spiritual, emotional, and physical connections in me, through all that had happened to me. Now I know that I am not alone in these things; they have happened to others as well. These thoughts from my past kept connecting with my present thoughts and kept me in misery.
In Colossians 3:2 You say, “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” [KJV] This means thinking correctly. Yet, my mind kept wandering to the past and its pain. Something would happen to me and I would go back to the past and everything would seem just the same. I'd say, “Lord, what's going on here?” You'd say, “You have not forgiven that person or yourself.” I kept trying to think about You and the higher things, not the things of the world. The past kept creeping up and I had no idea what to do. You started teaching me about forgiveness concerning unbelievers. You said, “They didn't know what they were doing to Me just like they didn't know what they were doing to you. The enemy and sin blinded their minds and hearts. Some sins were put upon you and others you engaged in. Shame comes from thinking you are wrong and from thinking you should not have allowed something to happen. I have forgiven you but to be free you must forgive yourself and others. All sins are the same because they all make you imperfect, no matter how big or small the sin is. Before you became a born-again Christian, you walked with the enemy because he is the god of this world. Even though some people think they're all good, the enemy has his hand in their life somewhere. I have spoken through My Son, ‘He that is not with Me is against Me; and he that gathereth not with Me scattereth abroad.’ (Matthew 12:30) [KJV] So people are either serving Me or the enemy, whether they accept it or not.”
You kept reminding me that You would empower me through and heal my pain and You continued encouraging me. You taught me that, on this journey, the real key to overcoming my past is to forgive myself and others continuously. Even a person has passed away, what they've done to me can still haunt me. You urged me to bring every person and circumstance to You. Most of the time, I felt small and that I had no control. You empowered me to stop blaming myself and to forgive myself. This was such a huge breakthrough Lord. I couldn't change but You empowered me to understand that holding bitterness against another person is due to unforgiveness toward them and possibly even shame and unforgiveness toward myself. I prayed to You to make changes in me and I realized that I couldn't change others. Many times I feared the worst, that You were not with me but You would whisper to me, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) [KJV]
I'm crying now just remembering all the times, small and big, that You have been there for me and not against me. My precious Lord Jesus Christ, the purpose of my life is to serve You and to give my testimony of You to others. You saved my soul and spirit, and I pray that many would come to salvation in You as well. You have allowed me to write this book and I know that it truly is of You. I am now 75 years old, with nine Christian children and 12 Christian grandchildren, and You, Jesus, have gotten me through so much. You have impacted my life with Your eternal love and concern for my well-being over and over again. Through these prayers You have changed me and I am thankful for Your forgiveness and for teaching me to forgive others and myself. All I want is all of You in my life. You are the greatest gift You have given me. Now that this book is finished, I can share true testimonies of how You have changed my life and how I received the greatest love of all. Each day, You hold me up with Your hands of hope and, as I forgive others and myself, I put the old behind me and remember to let go of the past. In You, I choose and it is my will to only remember and bring up the things that glorify You. Your forgiveness and Your power to cause me to forgive, allows me to receive what I need and my thankfulness and appreciation empowers me to hold onto what I've received.
I'm so excited about all that You're going to do with this book and I truly thank You for this journey. Lord, not my will but Yours. Go before me and cause this book to do everything You want it to do for Your honor and glory. I pray that You would deliver this book into every hand You desire it to be in and I thank You, my Lord Jesus Christ, for Your faithfulness and for the opportunity to write this book for You.
